Saturday, October 28, 2006
Numb
Have been staring at this empty post for some time...
Have no inspirations to write today...
It's always easier to write when you feel strongly for some things....
Guess such feelings in me are gone...
I'm not feeling happy...
I'm not feeling sad...
I'm not thinking of anything...
I wonder if that's good or bad...
My day just passes by...
My body drags...
My soul wanders...
Counting every minutes and seconds...
Praying for the night to arrive...
Where I can finally close my eyes...
I hate to face the truth...
The truth always hurt...
I harden my heart...
I numbed my feelings...
I have to be apathetic...
Casting all my desires and wants aside...
Numbness is all i feel...
Or at least is what i hope to feel...
With you @11:47 PM
Friday, October 27, 2006
Do it
I can do it...
I know i can do it...
And i will do it...
I need to do it...
With you @11:36 PM
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Thank you
Looking back...
I just wanna thank you...
thank you for all the trips we've been...
thank you for REDANG...
the little island where it all began...
the love so innocent and pure...
thank you for KL...
the food at the back alley...
the local bus ride up genting...
thank you for MT KINABALU...
the slow ascend up the sumit...
the exciting raft down the river....
thank you for PHUKET...
the sleazy hotel with the look through bathroom...
the little boat ride to phi phi island...
thank you for BALI...
the village tour of paddy fields...
the walk to kama sutra with the jamming live band...
thank you for BANGKOK...
the tour with my parents and family...
the outing with my sis and yours...
thank you for MALDIVES...
the romantic getaway...
the majestic yet peaceful views...
thank you for TIOMAN...
the holiday with your parents and their friends...
the cosy stay in the atap huts...
thank you for VIETNAM...
the days of kayaking and biking..
the busy market place and the homestay along the trek...
thank you for BINTAN...
the banana boat ride and jet ski...
the speed chasing after your parents...
thank you for TAIWAN...
the chicken chop so huge...
the open air shivers as we celebrate the new year...
thank you for NEW ZEALAND...
the adventure of bungy, rafting and treking...
the drive along the highways...just you and me...
thank you for PULAU AUR....
the bumpy boat rides...
the pat on my back when i offer my meals to the sea...
and finally....
thank you for TIBET...
the support you gave along the ascend...
the tent we share all the nights...
Thank you....
With you @12:21 PM
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
All Grown Up
I guess we have all grown up...
Once...
we used to gather in the hostel room...
with the stinking pond down below...
Now...
we meet up in the private condo...
overlooking the blue water pool...
Once...
we used to frown over tutorials and exams...
burning the midnight oil for the last minute dash...
Now...
we ponder over our jobs and careers...
wondering what better prospects there are...
Once....
we used to giggle over crushes and loves...
oggling over the hunks and babes...
Now...
we celebrate lawful declaration of marriage and love...
puting on the perfect diamond ring for eternity...
Once...
we shared our joy and sorrows...
depending on one another for company and comfort...
Now...
we still share our joy and sorrows...
our friendship never ending ever so strong...
With you @10:56 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Funny
This post is specially dedicated to one of my dearest friend...
whom i know reads my blog....
Not that i want to gloat over your lost of voice...
but you really sounded so funny over the phone....
and your phone call kinda made my day...
simply cos it made me laugh...
Now that i think back...
it still brings a smile to my face...
Thanks and get well soon....
With you @11:19 PM
Monday, October 23, 2006
Friends
Friends are a blessing...
Near or far...
They are always around....
My dear friends...
If you are reading this...
Thank you so much...
Thank you for being there when i needed you guys...
With you @10:26 AM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Goodbye My Lover
"Goodbye My Lover"
By James Blunt
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
[x2]
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
With you @6:00 PM
Friday, October 20, 2006
Misunderstood
you have mistaken me...
misread my intentions...
misunderstood my actions...
you really have...
A different voice on the line...
with due respect i asked...
"may i speak to _______ please?"
yet....
all i get was a harsh slam down....
With you @5:16 PM
Stay away
All it takes...
is a phone call...
an exchange of fury words...
to wash all my efforts for the previous months down the drain...
Sorry i lost control...
but i just can't help it...
Guess i should just stay away...
away from you...
away from everything...
so that i will not mess things up...
Stay away.....
from me
With you @7:39 AM
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Direction
When you are lost...
drifting aimlessly in the open sea...
you look up at the dark looming sky...
the sparkling north star shines...
you have your direction...
When you are lost...
trekking in circles amidst the thick bushes...
you listen to the jungle's symphony...
the melody of the river stream sings...
you have your direction...
When you are lost...
window shopping among the indifferent crowd...
you scan across the neon lights...
the faithful green exit sign smiles....
you have your direction....
It's about time..
about time for me...
to find my north star in life...
to search for the water source...
to walk towards the exit sign....
it's about time...
to have my direction...
it's about time....
With you @10:55 AM
Monday, October 16, 2006
A hundred miles
A hundred miles away from home...
what will you be doing...?
will you be sight-seeing...?
will you be window shopping...?
will you dance through the night...?
or will you drink to your heart's content...?
A hundred miles away from home...
how will you be feeling...?
will you be feeling carefree and joyful...?
will you be feeling relaxed and rejuvenated...?
will you be enjoying your companion's friendship...?
or will you be missing your love ones back at home...?
A hundred miles away from home...
do you know what will i be doing...?
will i be working...?
will i be catching up with my friends...?
will i be trying to live my own life...?
or will i be waiting....
A hundred miles away from home....
do you know how will i be feeling....?
will i be feeling secured and assured...?
will i be feeling confident and cool...?
will i be enjoying the independence...?
or will i be missing you...?
A hundred miles away from home...
will you know...?
do you know...?
With you @1:03 PM
Friday, October 13, 2006
I should stop
i should stop condoning your wrongful actions...
stop being harsh on myself....
i should stop walking in the wrong direction...
stop being lost in life...
i should stop allowing the problem to escalate...
stop being indifferent to the pain...
i should stop suffocating myself with you...
stop being around you...
i should stop wondering about our future...
stop being so pessimistic...
i should stop fearing of losing you...
stop being a paranoid...
i should stop...
i really should...
but can i...?
With you @1:28 PM
Thursday, October 12, 2006
It's only natural
it's only natural...
natural for people to come up with excuses...
excuses to justify why they refuse to do certain things...
excuses to cover up for the mistakes they made...
it's only natural...
natural for people to have mood swings...
moods swings that make you joyful...
moods swings that make you tear...
it's only natural...
natural for people to procrastinate...
procrastinate to make important decisions...
procrastinate to make the first move...
it's only natural...
natural for people to complain...
complains that dwell on the unhappy things...
complains that are useless and serve no purpose...
it's only natural...
natural for people to glorify themselves...
glorify to bring attention and fame...
glorify to satisfy the desire of self-pride...
it's only natural...
natural for people to have fear....
fear that hinders progress...
fear that murders dreams and aspirations...
it's only natural....
but i believe....
it can be changed....
With you @9:53 AM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
So what do you do
you asked me what can you do...
let me give you a simple analogy...
imagine you are student...
taking your 'A' levels at the end of the year...
but you were doing badly and your teacher wants you to drop a subject...
you can drop either chemistry or physics...
so what do you do...?
you compare the pros and cons of the subjects...
you consider which subject you like better...
at the end of it all..
you still can't decide..
both are as good...
and both are as important....
so what do you do...?
you decide to wait and see how...
you decide that time will tell which subject suits you more...
you decide to hang on to both subjects...
you refuse to let go...
simply because you dunno which one to choose...
end results...
both subjects suffer...
both grades are lousy...
simply because you dun have the time and energy to concentrate on one...
by the time you decide to let go of one...
it's too late to salvage the results of the other...
too late to make up for what you have lost...
too late because you are way behind time...
on the other hand...
even when you aren't sure which one you really want..
you are willing to take a risk...
you decide on one...
you choose just one...
then stick to your decision...
and make things work...
you are the one who's going to make it work...
through your own efforts...
through your own will...
even if you have choosen wrongly at the start...
you dun regret...
instead...
through your efforts...
through your will...
you will make the wrong right...
you will make it work...
i hope you see my point...
do not fear about making the wrong decision...
when there's a will...there's a way...
With you @9:18 AM
Monday, October 09, 2006
I'm weak
him: ...is this a blog that just posts all your poems...?
me: .......
i'm caught speechless by his question...
i don't know how to answer him...
i really dun see them as poems...
but rather...
they are an expression of my thoughts....
and my feelings...
sure...i do like it to be phrased beautifully...
but please do not overlook the meaning behind it...
everyone have hopes and dreams...
but many a times...
reality is harsh and cruel...
where only the strong survives...
and now....I'M WEAK....
With you @9:20 AM
Friday, October 06, 2006
Reunion of love
Under the pale moonlight...
The festive lights so bright...
Sparkles of laughter
Sparkles of joy...
Renuion of love...
Under the pale moonlight...
Under the pale moonlight...
The fragance of tea fills the night....
Delights of sweetness...
Delights of cakes...
Reunion of love...
Under the pale moonlight....
Under the pale moonlight...
In your arms i feel so right...
Memories of fondness...
Memories of us...
Reunion of love...
Under the pale moonlight....
Happy Mid-Autumn to all....
With you @11:49 PM
Thursday, October 05, 2006
How do you
How do you run a marathon....
when you only have the strength...
but not the will...?
How do you fight a battle...
when you only have the shield..
but not the sword...?
How do you cook a dish...
when you only have the wok...
but not the recipe...?
How do you reach your destination...
when you only have the car...
but not the map...?
How do you tell someone how you feel...
when you only have the words...
but not the courage...?
With you @11:25 PM
Monday, October 02, 2006
My little prince
holding you...
laying you near my heart...
taking in the fragrance ever so soft...
looking down...
feeling your little breadth...
touching your skin ever so smooth...
lullabying you...
tempting your eyes to close...
admiring your dimples ever so faint...
envying you...
wishing for the child...
living the innocence ever so true...
especially dedicated to Jovan...
the one who brings me so much laughter and joy....
My little prince...
with my heart i see....
a beautiful life awaiting you....
With you @10:36 PM
Are you touched?
there are 5 ways to give and receive love:
1. through WORDS...
'i love you' is constantly on your mouth and expressing your feelings verbally comes naturally....you go weak on your knees when someone says 'i love you'....
2. through TOUCH...
hugging and kissing is a comfort...even a pat on your back feels assuring...
3. through GIFTS....
you like giving and receiving presents from your loves one...the more gifts you give...the more you love that person...
4. through SERVICE....
you like doing things for that special one...running daily errands becomes a huge task of showing your affection...
5. through TIME...
you spend your days, hours, minutes and sceonds with your loved ones...being physically together is significant....even if it means just lazing infront of the tv....
What is your way of showing love...?
Which way makes you feel loved....?
are you touched...
when someone listens and understand you...?
are you touched...
when someone runs your daily errands for you...?
are you touched...
when someone tried to learn the recipe of curry chicken for you...?
are you touched...
when someone looks out for your career advancements for you...?
are you touched...
when someone forgives you and trust you again...?
are you touched...
when someone takes pain in her stride so that you can be happy...?
are you touched...
when someone shares her life and dreams with you...?
are you touched...
when someone watches the tv silently so that you can have a peaceful rest...?
are you touched...
when someone wakes up in the wee hours rain or shine just to pick you up from work...?
are you touched...
when someone cracks her brain and searches high and low for the perfect gift for your birthday...?
are you touched...
when someone arranges tennis session with her friends so that you can have a good game...?
are you touched...
when someone gives you your own space so that you can do things you want...?
are you touched...
when someone constantly have you in her mind...?
are you touched...
when someones faithfully wakes up in the night just to pull the covers over you...?
are you touched...
when someone goes through great heights just to get the underwater camera casing for you...?
are you touched...
when someone listens and empathise with your work woes...?
are you touched...
when someone tries to arrange for the kind of travel that you love...?
are you touched...
when someone makes an effort to know your friends...?
are you touched...
when someone puts your interest before hers...?
are you touched...
by all the small small things she has done for you...?
are you touched...?
or have you forgotten....?
With you @9:09 AM
Sunday, October 01, 2006
I'm afraid
i want to have a tattoo..
but i'm afraid...
afraid of pain...
afraid that art will become a scar of eternity...
i want to ride a bike..
but i'm afraid...
afraid of losing my life...
afraid of causing pain to those who strongly survives...
i want to travel alone...
but i'm afraid...
afraid of losing my way...
afraid of not having someone to share my joy...
i want to walk away...
but i'm afraid...
afraid of having regrets...
afraid of losing things that was once so dear...
i want to have hopes...
but i'm afraid...
afraid that the hopes will be dashed...
afraid of losing the slightest optimism that i have....
i want to live to expectations...
but i'm afraid...
afraid of losing my identity...
afraid of becoming someone else...
i want to live my life...
but i'm afraid...
afraid of judgemental views...
afraid of prejudice and rejections....
will i ever be able to do the things i want...?
With you @4:18 PM
