Thursday, November 30, 2006
A great day
Thank you for today...
I had a great time...
I enjoyed the things we talked about...
I enjoyed the games we play...
I enjoyed having the bruises on my shin...
I enjoyed the excitment and the high...
It's definitely not monotonous...
hee...
Thank you...
With you @11:32 PM
Monday, November 27, 2006
How long more
They always say...
"A leopard never changes its spots..."
I wonder how true is that...
There are simply too many questions unanswered...
I'm wondering what's becoming of me...
Every time you tell a lie...
It breaks my heart...
yet i can't push for the truth...
all i can do is let it go...
How long more do you expect me to be silent before your untruthful words...?
How long more before you will bare your soul to me...?
How long more before i can trust you entirely...?
You hated it when i ask questions...
You hated it when i doubt...
Your anger rises...
Your temper flares...
How long more do we need to live our lives in such a way...?
How long more do i have to be bear such insecurities...?
How long more do we need to endure all these pains and hurts...?
Do i have my rights...?
Or do i just have to accept it...?
How long more before all my questions will be answered...?
How long more before my wounds will be healed...?
How long more before you will love me...and only me...?
Do i want to continue condoning your actions...?
Or do i want to fight for the things i want...?
I guess...
I will start looking for more options...
I'm sure there are nicer people around....
I'm sure there are people who will love me more...
I'm sure i can be happier...
With you @12:50 PM
Friday, November 24, 2006
One question
Just one question...
How long more do i have to wait for you...?
With you @12:43 AM
Monday, November 20, 2006
Hatred
I guess i should convert all my hurts into hatred...
It shouldn't be too difficult to do so...
Then maybe...
It will be easier to leave everything behind...
and move on...
With you @11:38 PM
Saturday, November 18, 2006
What's going on
In the silence of the night...
I look up into the velvet sky...
but i see no stars...
After the stormy rain...
I look up into the clear blue sky...
but i see no rainbow...
What's going on...?
Why aren't the stars shinning...?
Why isn't the rainbow appearing...?
Struggling years of battles...
I look ahead into the future...
but i see no victory...
Behind my smiling mask...
I look into my inner soul...
but i see no faith...
What's going on...?
Why am i losing the battle...?
Why am i losing faith...?
Would love make the stars shine and paint the rainbow...?
Would love overcome the battle and regain my faith...?
With you @12:17 AM
Monday, November 13, 2006
You are loved
A song that i use to encourage myself....
and to encourage you too...
You Are Loved (Don't give up)
by Josh Groban
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy I
I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you I
I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside I
I'll be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you I
I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved (you are loved)
You are loved (you are loved)
Don't give up (don't give up)
It's just the weight of the world (you are loved)
Don't give up (don't give up)
Everyone needs to be heard (don't give up)
You are loved (you are loved)
With you @10:51 PM
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Principle of life
My mind is in turmoil...
My world is collapsing...
Ok...i exaggerated...!!!
But my mind is really in turmoil...
Just that my world in not collapsing...
Rather...i will make sure i live a better life from now on...
Just wait and see...
After living for 27 years...
And witnessing both kindness and ruthless acts...
And experiencing both joy and sorrow...
I've finally decided that the basic principle to live by my life is...
"Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you..."
Sounds so simple...
Yet it's difficult to accomplish...
Simply because human nature is selfish...
It's always easier to put self before others...
But well...
I just have to start somewhere...
Cos i believe...
Kindness begets kindness...
With you @10:44 PM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Why
Why do things always take a drastic turn when it just begin to look good...?
Why do i let her words and actions affect me again and again...? why must it all happen at the wrong time...? why can't i just ignore her...?
Why...?
Are we really not fated...?
Please God i pray...
give me back my old self...
grant me strength to endure...
by Your grace...
help me to go through all this...
heal my broken spirit and heart...
by Your mercy...
do not put Your wrath on me...
give me faith instead...
Please God i pray...
bless me with Your wisdom...
show me what to do...
i plead for Your will to be done...
i ask for Your forgiveness...
Lord...please show me the way...
In Jesus's name i pray...
Amen
With you @6:55 PM
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
If i can
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 1979 where i was first born...
where i basked in unconditional love and kisses...
where everyone just can't wait to dote and carry me...
where i need not worry for a single thing...
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 1986 where i first entered primary school...
where zero point and catching are my greatest joy...
where the canteen ah mak sold the best chicken wing i ever tasted...
where house practice is the best thing to happen after school...
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 1992 where i first entered secondary school...
where i won my first my badminton championship....
where i met my friends who still played a huge role in my life today...
where i enjoyed the taste of an innocent puppy love...
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 1996 where i first entered junior college...
where we would laze around at east coast rather than the jog we were told to do...
where we would skip tutorials and lectures praying that the tutors would not catch us doing so...
where we would climb over the school gate when we studied till wee hours for 'A' levels...
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 1998 where i first entered university...
where hall 6 was practically my second home...
where we would go for mid night jog along the 199 route...
where we would try to dish out a meal whenever possible...
If i can turn back the clock...
I would return to the year 2002 where we first started...
where the trip to redang was simply unforgettable...
where we would average a trip every 2 months...
where our love was ever so pure and untainted...
If i can turn back the clock...
If only i can...
With you @12:42 PM
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Little darlings
Now he has his little darling...
and i have my little prince...
I wonder....
in future...
will we have OUR own little darling, prince and princess...
I wonder....
I hope...
With you @11:22 PM
Friday, November 03, 2006
The Wait
The wait is anguishing...
The wait is nerves wrecking...
The wait is indefinite...
The wait for the phone call...
The wait for the message...
The wait for the decision...
The wait for the answer...
The wait is anguishing...
The emptiness closing in...
The silence echoing....
The wait for confirmation...
The wait for my future...
The wait for my happiness...
The wait for my love...
The wait is anguishing...
In whom can i seek refudge...
With whom can i pour my woes...
The wait is anguishing...
With you @11:13 PM
Hopes
Hopes...
Can we choose to have them...?
Or are they given to us by others...?
Chosen by us when we have faith...
Given to us when we need encouragement...
Hopes...
I choose not to have...
And it's not given to me...
Hopes...
Good to have...?
Or better without...?
Good to have when they can be realized...
Better without when they will never be fulfilled...
Hopes...
It's better without...
unfulfillment causes disappointments...
With you @1:30 AM
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I Fear
One week has past...
Soon...two weeks will past..
Then one month...
Then one year...
Then....it will all be forgotten...
I fear when that day comes...
I wonder how you are...
I wonder what you are doing...
I wonder what you are thinking...
I wonder if you are happy...
I wonder if you are sad...
I fear when the day comes...
when i'm no longer part of your life...
when i no longer share your joy and sorrow...
I fear that day will really come...
With you @1:29 PM
