Sunday, January 21, 2007
To the One above
My belief shaken...
My faith doubted...
Have i believed in the wrong things...?
Have i gone the wrong way...?
But other than believing...
There's nothing else i can do...
Other than holding on...
There's no other way out...
I have a life...
Is my life destined...?
Have i incurred Your wrath...?
That i have to suffer for my misgivings...
Why...?
Why can't i just give it all up...
And start my life afresh...?
Perhaps You are right afterall...
Worldly desires are temporary...
Who can love me more than You...
Yet i refuse to return to Your arms...
The fear in me is just so great...
I know i have to stand before You one day...
But i'm afraid...
Afraid to give up what i have now...
I do not know what i seek...
I do not know what i want...
I feel betrayed...
I guess that's how You felt when i left...
I dare not return to You now...
For i'm not ready...
And i fear i will leave again someday...
and break Your heart once again...
I dare not ask for more...
For i do not deserve to...
I can't say how sorry i am...
I really am...
Please forgive me...